❄ winter thinspo: tiny legs
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It’s so embarrassing having an eating disorder and not even being skinny.
I think everyone with an eating disorder in recovery has to come to realise something eventually. And it’s not something anyone else can tell you or that you learn from reading any tumblr test post like this one. It comes to you alone, maybe when you’re ready to see it.
It goes something like this. What do I want people to think when they hear my name? The “kind, funny one”, or the “skinny one”? Would I rather be a person with a huge smile who has the potential to brighten someone’s day and who spreads happiness, or be cold and hungry and dying? When I look at people now I see things differently. Before, (and I’m ashamed to say this but it’s the truth so I’m saying it) I would look at someone and just see a body. I would compare myself, I would pick at their appearance. And now the first thing I notice is a smile. Do they have bright eyes? Do they seem kind? Because the thing is - the ultimate truth is - no one cares if I’m skinny or not, not really. I can convince myself that they care but it won’t ever be true. And this is the way I want it. I want people to see a smile and think I look happy. I want to be the happy girl again!
And for me to realise this, it took a shift in my own mind and perspective. I had to start seeing other people differently again, in a nicer way and seeing them for who they are rather than what they look like. What attracts me to a person now is positivity, friendliness, a kind look or gesture. That makes me want to get to know someone, or look at someone. Not like it used to be, for legs and arms and how small is their waist?
And this won’t be a brainwave for anyone. If you’ve had this realisation you’ll think it’s obvious, but if you haven’t it seems like lies. But I promise you will see it for yourself one day. It takes a while but it’s worth it.




